Friday, May 3, 2013

This is why I never had a freakin' diary

Because I would go gang-busters writing in it for a week, then I'd get bored and quit.

I'm not bored. And I'm not quitting. I'm just so freakin' TIRED!

After recovering for a week from our forensics trip to Kansas, 16 students & 4 coaches hopped on a bus and traveled FIFTEEN HOURS to Marshall University in West Virginia. Do you have any idea what FIFTEEN HOURS on a bus does to an old, chubby lady's body? It's not pretty. My bursitis in my right knee acted up. And by "acted up", I mean my knee developed a grapefruit sized lump and some pretty intense pain. The arthritis in my spine was also pretty pissed about the bus ride. Let's just say that I am indebted to whoever invented Vicodin.

So, we get to West Virginia, compete in a grueling 5 day marathon of speaking, and take NINTH PLACE IN THE COUNTRY!
My team!

My seniors!
This? Was pretty freakin' cool. Then? We got back on the bus for another FIFTEEN HOUR bus ride back to Eau Claire. I was home for less than 48 hours before getting on a plane and heading out with 2 students and my partner-in-crime to compete at the Interstate Oratory Contest. It's a national persuasion contest. It started in 1874. That's right. It's OLD.

And one of my girls placed THIRD IN THE COUNTRY!! This was even more freakin' cool.

What was also fun about Shreveport? The food. I tend to be pretty adventurous when it comes to trying different things. And in the south, craw fish are what it's all about. Craw fish, crawdads, mud bugs - whatever - I was going to not only try some, but "suck the head" just like the locals. It was an experience. Not really one I will try again, but interesting.
                             We also had beignets.
And crab cakes.
Then we flew home.

It is 5 days later and I STILL have tournament hangover. I also still have a knee the size of a grapefruit. This freaked the doc I went to see on Wednesday so much, she thought I had a blood clot. So I got to have my very first ultrasound. No blood clot - yea!! But no pain relief, just a referral to an ortho doc. I see her on Monday and am hoping she'll give me a shot of cortisone in my knee so I can get some relief. I know what you're thinking - a shot in the knee???!!! But seriously, it can't be as bad as this freakin' knee pain.

My travels also made me a fan of "freakin'" - I'm trying to swear less. It's hard. Fuckshitdamn.

Not to mention just how far behind I am on class stuff. And prepping for my summer class. And writing final exams. And grading. And organizing stuff for the forensics banquet. Since I'm so freakin' busy and so freakin' tired, I thought - why not start back at my summer job?!?

So that's what I did today. I've worked for the past 9-10 summers for a telephone answering service. It's pretty cool. We answer the phones for hundreds of businesses across the country. Massage Therapists, Veterinarians, Plumbers, Nail Salons, Chiropractors, Dentists, Psychics, Churches, Funeral Homes, Insurance Companies, Yacht rentals, Seminar Planners, Hospitals, Pharmacies, Lawyers - basically, if you have a phone that can be answered, we can do that for you!! I love the job for a couple of reasons - it is technologically challenging (lots and lots and lots of computer stuff) and it is also absolutely fascinating to interact with so many different kinds of people. The job also gives me the chance to laugh at the very "human-ness" of us all.

I was so excited to start today! And my first 3 calls were hang-ups . . . talk about a let-down. The human race didn't disappoint for long, though. We've all dialed a wrong number - most people just hang up, some apologize . . . and some want to know if you have the number of the chicken restaurant they were trying to call when they accidentally rang the chiropractors office. Why yes, I magically know the phone number of the place you don't even know the exact name of. Silly human.

I'm sure there will be many more fun stories to relay through the summer. At least I hope there will be, or it's going to be a looooong summer.

As for how my dating life is going . . .

 . . . I'm too freakin' tired to even think about it.

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