It made me start to wonder what I'd gotten myself into. Then I realized maybe not much since I'm still waiting to hear back from some of my eharmony matches. (More on that later) I do think I should do some explaining of the process and set some ground rules for myself. So here we go . . .
I signed up for a year of eharmony for the bargain basement price of $90. What does that get me? Besides angst? I get 6-8 new matches sent to me every day. I read through the profiles and decide if I want to "communicate." If I do, I can either "send a smile" - which I imagine is a smiley face icon announcing I'm possibly interested OR I can send a set of 5 questions for the potential guy to answer. This is how eharmony works - I think they call it mediated communication.
Here's where I have to admit I'm a bit old-fashioned. I want the guy to initiate conversation. Honestly, it's because I'm terribly, horribly shy when meeting people. Yes, it's true and probably something that surprises people. So I guess it's not that I think a guy should make the first move, but that I'm usually too shy to do it.
I also have my profile on a free website called "Plenty of Fish." It's free, so it attracts a different group of people than the gotta-pay-for-it matching sites. Here's the comparison:
Plenty of Fish gets you this
While eharmony gets you this
*No, those are not actual pictures from either website. I simply googled "scary trucker" and "suave businessman"
It kind of cracks me up that the nickname for PoF is
And more often than not, the profile pictures include some sort of dead animal. Like this:
Anyway - the point I'm making is different sites, different types of guys.
On to my self-governing rules . . . 1. I'm trying very hard not to be so picky, so unless there's a huge red flag, I'll respond to every email or contact I get. Here's an example: One of the eharmony matches I was sent today stated in his bio that he couldn't believe that a "Muslim born outside the US is the President." Uhm. I can't believe you would put that in your bio. This guy? Red flag!
2. I will note each day what communication I've received, and if I've responded. Today, I had 4 emails in my mailbox on PoF. One I red flagged as he only sent one sentence, suggesting we meet for sexy-time. Two others I wrote back to, writing just a bit about myself and asking some questions of them. One I'm still pondering - I'm very intrigued with his letter and profile, but he lives 2 hours away and I just don't know if I'm up for that distance. As for eharmony, well, I'm waiting on responses to "smiles" or "questions" I've sent, but nothing so far.
3. If I get to a first date with a guy, he will get a nickname, like "scary trucker guy" or "gluten-free guy." I won't ever use real names or actual pictures of dates on this blog.
In completely unrelated news, I am completely pissed off about quitting smoking, I swam laps for 30 minutes today, and WEAU wants to interview me about #26Acts - so my New Year's resolutions are still going strong.