Friday, January 4, 2013

This popped up in my PoF inbox just a bit ago:

"Merry meet!! I am a dominant, Pagan, who is very creative artistically and with words. I smoke marijuana, and drink moderately.  We hit it off, we go to your place, or mine, we make passionate love, and we are a couple from that minute onward!!"

I'm trying to figure out what part of my profile would make this person think I'd be interested. I clearly state I'm Christian, don't do one night stands, drink rarely and am not an illegal drug user. He looks kind of like the guy who plays Rumplestiltskin on "One Upon a Time" - not unattractive, just . . . interesting.

I also received a response to one of the PoF guys I emailed. (I erased his email before I could copy it.) He very politely let me know he appreciated my interest, but was looking for someone who is slender and has long hair. I immediately emailed him back to let him know I sincerely appreciated his honest response.
No, it's not easy to hear that my extra curvy body type is the reason someone would dismiss getting to know me. But I really do appreciate it when men can be up-front and honest about this issue. We all have types of people we find attractive, some are more discriminating than others. I'm working on viewing this as a personality type instead of a personality flaw. I tend to want to react as a chubby girl - "No one will ever love me because I'm a cubby girl!! Waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" And I know that's just chubby insecurity rearing it's ugly, fat head. He also didn't like my hair. My hair?? I always thought I had good hair! See, here's the catch 22 . . . I appreciate when guys can be honest that they aren't interested, but it also causes me to overanalyze. My confidence takes a hit.

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