Friday, March 22, 2013

Quilter Guy

This is not the worst date I've ever been on. I'll admit it, I had a bad attitude going into this first date with Quilter Guy. I think I was grumpy because here I was, again, getting ready to sell myself as a "great catch" and dang it all - it just takes so much energy. As I was getting all prettified, I gave myself a pep-talk. It went something like this:
"You will have a good time on this date!
It's fun getting to know new people!
He might be a great guy!
No, your ass doesn't look huge in that skirt!"
It kind of worked. This was the end result of my primping . . .
So I met Quilter Guy for lunch. Here was the good:
  • He was taller than me
  • He paid for lunch
  • He really loves his job
  • He has 4 kids and 10 grand kids, and it is obvious he is a proud papa!
  • He had some get-to-know-you questions ready to ask me
The not-so-good:
  • When I asked him about his religious beliefs, he said "The world started with Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" (and I nearly had a stroke trying not to roll my eyes)(Also - if this is what defines your religious beliefs, we are not on the same page)
  • He mentioned how trashy he thought tattoos were on women. (and boy, did the conversation get awkward when I mentioned I had three tattoos)
  • He clarified 3 times that he "was NOT gay!!" (He doth protest too much?)
  • He apologized for using harsh language after saying something "sucked" (what the fuck?)
  • He seemed uncomfortable making eye contact with me
  • He asked a lot of questions, but never really let me answer. I think he was asking questions so he could answer them.
  • Several times he felt the need to clarify that he hoped he didn't "sound like a sissy" or "sound like a woman" when he talked about liking to cook.
I feel like I should also take a look at this from Quilter Guys perspective. Here's how I think he would interpret the date:
The good:
  • She's cute! Love that sweater she's wearing.
  • She's great at conversation!
The not-so-good:
  • She's trashy, too many tattoos
  • What's with the Harry Potter obsession?
  • Why does she keep eye-balling me?
  • She reminds me of my good friend Greg. If I were gay, I would love Greg. But I'm NOT GAY!!
About half-way through the date it dawned on me - I think this may be a case of a gay man who was born and raised in a small town and has never been told there is a closet he is allowed to open. And I have to be honest, the thought made me really sad for him. This wasn't a horrid date, but it was awkward. And ended with the most awkward side-hug ever. I'm 100% sure there won't be a a second date, though perhaps we could meet up to exchange crafting tips?


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