Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Movie Guy

Shortly after I wrote my last post, Movie Guy texted me back. Here is our brief, awkward conversation:
Note, he said yes to my informal date invitation before figuring out who I was. Doesn't really instill confidence.
And I didn't answer the phone because it freaked me out when he actually called.
Movie Guy texted again this morning, wanting to know if I wanted to go bowling. Normally, I would find this charming, but - Hello! - I didn't get a snow day like the rest of the world. I told him I'd be home this evening and he should call.
So he did . . .
And it was the longest 45 minutes Of. My. Life. Actually, I wouldn't call it a conversation. I'd call it a monologue. I listened to a monologue for 45 minutes. I think I said a total of 10 words. Here's the synopsis of the monologue, but I can't vouch for it's accuracy because this guy? He's a mumbler. He may have been drunk. Seriously.
He was divorced 4 years ago after his wife cheated on him. Two years ago he was dating a woman who cheated on him, then he got back together with her, then she cheated on him again. Now he's suing her to get the engagement ring back.
Still with me? He has gone out with several women in the last few months, but he's just looking for someone to do stuff with - like go bowling. He warned me that telling him I'm in love with him after the first date is not a turn-on. Thank goodness he warned me. He also doesn't want to date someone who talks about their problems. He went out with a woman last month who called him after she wrecked her car in a ditch. Movie Guy didn't know why she thought he should solve her problem.
He also has 4 cats. He is a crazy cat man. No irony. I think he's actually crazy.
Basically, this was a monologue that was 90% ex-stories and 10% cat stories. He did ask me one question, which he didn't actually allow me to answer. I actually have a headache from this phone call, and it's probably from rolling my eyes.
I'm pretty sure that's the last of Movie Guy. And I'm quite OK with that.

1 comment:

  1. Bahaha this sounds like "how to lose a girl in less than an hour" (Spin of off "how to lose a man in ten days" of course)