Tuesday, March 26, 2013


Such! Exciting! News! I got my first "Ask Ms. Wright" question. I didn't even know I wanted questions, but it turns out, I do! (I'm a generally bossy person, so this really shouldn't be so surprising to me)

Here's the email question I received:

I have my first "meeting" with someone from a dating site tomorrow night. This is the first time I've done this... nervous, but just need to put my big girl panties on and do this, or I never will... anyway - thought I'd ask for some advice in good/helpful 'first date questions' that have been helpful for you in determining whether another "meeting" is worth trying :)

Signed, Anonymous in Wisconsin. Or Minnesota. Or Ontario.

And here was my answer:

GOOD FOR YOU for jumping back into the dating pool. It is so freaking hard. I waiver back and forth between seeing it as an adventure and being annoyed by the process. The best advice I can give is to try and limit your expectations. I feel like when I control my expectations, I get a better read on how the experience went.
Here are some of my favorite first-date questions:
Do you like your job? How long have you been doing your job?
Do you have pets?
Are you close with your family?
Did you grow up in MN?
Last movie you saw/book you read/TV show you Tivo?
Have you been doing the online dating very long?
What are you looking for in a partner?
Are you a sports fan?
Of course, don't ask a question you aren't prepared to answer, because most guys will add "what about you?" after answering a question. I also try really hard to be myself, which I think is easier said than done in a date situation!
I have a pretty good vibe by the end of the date if this is someone who is going to be voted off the dating island, or if they will vote me off the dating island. If we are on obviously opposing political sides, it’s probably not going to work. If one person does 90% of the talking, probably no. If I belly laugh more than a couple of times, I want to see the guy again. Unless he’s into Fox news. Then probably not.
The nice thing about first dates is that even if they are HORRIBLE, you can get out of them with a good story and a lesson learned. I’ve only ever been on 1 date that I seriously considered sneaking out of. If you are super nervous on how to get out of the date, have someone text you about an hour into the date. If you’re having a good time, don’t check your phone. If it’s horribly awkward, ask if you can check your phone to see if your friend let you know how her husband’s surgery went. Then panic when you find out it didn’t go well. I’ve never actually used this exit strategy, but then again, I tend to be pretty blunt about stuff and would just tell they guy he’s creeping me out and leave.
You need to definitely let me know how this goes! Just remember, the fate of the universe does not rest in the outcome of this date – so just relax and have fun!!!
I'm still waiting to hear from Anonymous how the date went. If it was a bad date, I hope there's a good story!
My dating life is non-existent at the moment. In the last week I've received emails from two 18-year olds and a 40 year old guy who apparently doesn't own shirts. Every single picture of him was shirtless . . . and that wasn't necessarily a good thing. I'm actually OK with my lack of dates right now because I have a humongously busy 6 weeks coming up. Serious searching for Mr. Wright will resume in May.
Until then, I welcome your questions on anything you would like explained. Since the name of my blog is "Ms. Wright Explains It All," I think I'll try and do just that.

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