So. Pay-it-forward guy didn't call. We had an awkward text conversation:
Then . . . nothing. I have to admit, I was kind of bummed. I wanted to get to know him, but I guess I wasn't his type. It's a hit to the ego, but I'm trying to trust that there's a good reason why we didn't move to a second date. In fact, I've come up with some pretty good scenarios. Like, maybe he's a serial killer and he could tell I'd take him down in a fight. Or he's a sexist pig who realized I was not ever going to be his "little lady." Or maybe he's a former mob boss in the witness protection program. Yea, I bet that's it.
Instead of continuing to obsess about why I wasn't "good enough" (because that is what my mind always wants to believe - stupid mind) I'm working on finding a healthy work/life balance. I decided before the semester even began that I wanted to work very hard at staying healthy - physically, mentally, spiritually. It's hard. Something that has a HUGE effect on my physical health is stress. And one of the best antidotes to stress is getting enough sleep. Most people I know do well on 7-8 hours of sleep a night. While I can survive on that amount, I have more issues with arthritis pain. The perfect amount of sleep for me is 9-10 hours a night. In our culture, this is an obnoxious amount. That extra couple of hours sleep means I have fewer hours to get things done. Most nights, I'm in bed between 9-10pm - which officially means I am an old person and should get early entry into AARP. When I get enough sleep, I am so much more productive. I have less pain and I can really enjoy my job. So, this semester, I am making sleep a priority.
I'm also making working out a regular thing. Monday and Wednesday evenings (and Saturday mornings when I'm in town) I head to an hour of water fit classes. I really love the instructor, and every workout is a challenge - but my stress level is near zero after a class. Love that!
So, I may not have the time or energy to look for Mr. Wright, but I'm spending that energy on being healthy - and that feels pretty good.