Things I will never understand . . .

1. Tights as pants.

These are NOT PANTS!! If your ass or underwear pattern can be clearly seen - YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG. I do not understand this trend. I find it disturbing. And wrong. Just wrong.

2. Why it's still OK to make fat jokes. I mean, people are getting the idea that disabled jokes, rape jokes, even some political jokes are just cruel and uncalled for. But it is still socially acceptable to mock the chubby people. I'm a chubby person with a blood pressure of 110/72, a cholesterol level of 180 and I've completed a triathlon. Chubby doesn't equal sloth. So knock off the jokes.

3. The Easter Bunny. Has there ever, in the history of the universe, been an Easter Bunny at the mall that WASN'T creepy?

Heck, I was the Easter Bunny at the mall when I was in college. Even I knew the costume was creepy as hell. And I got peed on by a 3 year old who was forced to sit on the creepy Easter Bunny's lap while his mum took a picture of him that I'm sure is still treasured today.

4. Why the Walmart is such an attraction for the Amish. I'm always self-conscious about my clothing and short hair when I wheel my cart full of electrical appliances past them. And how do they get there? Because there's no horse & buggy parking at the Walmart. Wouldn't the Walmart be the epitome of everything "English" that the Amish claim to eschew?

5. What "eschew" actually means.

6. Why students don't hand in assignments and then want extra-credit at the end of the semester. So, you want me to reward you with points for not doing something that was required for the class? That's like going car shopping, but instead of giving the car guy money for a car, you ask if you can just have one to drive around because you forgot your money. Uhm. No.

7. Why students text in class. Because unless you are waiting for a kidney transplant, you are just not that important.

8. Why I get ripped off for being single with no kids. For example, a single membership at a gym might be $300 a year, but for a couple, there's a discount so the price for two is $550. That means each of them pays $275. So, unless I go find a friend or stranger to pretend to be a couple, I have to pay more. This seriously sucks.

9. Why places won't let me order off the kids menu. If you think about it, most kids meals are actually the size of meals that an adult should eat. We've become so used to ginormous portions, they seem teeny. But when I'm trying to control how healthy I eat and want to order a kids meal (burger, apple slices and milk - pretty healthy!) I get shot down. Boo.

10. Why people are in love with Beyonce. She bugs me.